my brother just got his new phone. it was delivered to him on mon when he went to camp. and ytd he just came home. haha. and he's damn happy. (: good for him.
and me? ytd i went out with my mum. went to city link to shop. wad else?
it was getting quite boring and tiring also cos i had blisters on my legs. damn those shoes. we didnt buy many things cos i was tired and wanted to go home.
4 pairs of socks from hang ten, some childish stuff from precious moments, birthday presents, and sweaters. shopping can get so boring. well, for me.
hmmm... wad else happened? nth much to say. lets talk abt how im coping then.
haha. its been okay. but those dreams havent gone away. and new problems are cropping up. wierd ones which make no sense at all. even to me. hmm... need more time i expect before everything returns to normal. hope everything can quickly clear up soon! haha. hope and pray.
i admit i've changed alot from last year. well, through everything. aft all thats been said and done. i'm expected to change. i need to adapt to the different environment.
hmm.. wad else? nth else. k bye (:
PS: might be going TF this sat? cool or not? i don't know.

after all thats been said and done, i guess there'll soon be no more tears in heaven.

my piano exam is on 20th july. my piano exams is TWENTIETH JULY...!
omg. its so far away, yet so very near. omg OMG. that leaves me only 5 more  piano lessons. aww man.
this really means alot to me. i really really wanna do well. at least a merit.
well, my piano teacher was very nice to me and very encouraging today (:
she: girl, you've got to play with more confidence. esp your scales. you're already very good, but if you put in more confidence, you'll be able to score much better.
me: really? but whenever i go into the exam room and look at the examiner's face, i get nervous. and everything gets all spoiled.
she: whenever you play wrongly, just treat it like nothing happened. even in sight reading, even in pieces or scales or whatever. just continue and treat it like its correct. that is confidence. concert pianists also make alot of mistakes. but they still continue. cos if they stop, then everyone will definitely know its a mistake. same for actors and singers. even if they walk up the stage and fall. they still stand up and smile and treat like nothing happened. no matter what, the show must go on.
you understand?
me: yes. i understand. just treat like nothing happened.
*then she went on encouraging me and soothe my nerves*
she: don't worry. tell yourself. as long as you have practised, you'll be able to do well.
me *telling myself* : as long as i have practised, i will be able to do well.

piano exams. God help me. and fiona and all those taking the july exams. please,.

thank You. Amen.

and i just had to turn it off. yes i had to. i really had to. to prevent me from starting to wonder and letting my mind wander off, i had to turn it off. and turn it off i did.
FYI, i just happened to stumble upon the blog of an old friend of mine. we're not very close, but we stil keep each other's contact. well, the msn contact at least.
and i realised that was smart enough to (at this age) already get a place in TJC.
i am so envious. we all are. i'm not jealous. i'm happy for her. i knew all along she could do well, and she did! makes me proud to know her.
but why did i turn off her blog? ugh. the music. it was so beautiful (i'm not being sarcastic here). but it also had a bad thing. it brought back memories. old memories. everyone forgets except me. being a musically inclined person, i would naturally link everything to music. even this. brings back olf memories. come to think of it, i miss those times. but i know they can never be revived again.
like cui shan gong's red ribbon. it was caught in the branch of the trees. where everyone forgot about it. but when she wants to reach out for it, she cant reach it and it flies away with the wind. that red ribbon symbolises those memories. everyone forgot abt it, except me. but when i wanna just reach out for it, it was predestined to be out of my reach. and hence flew away. i'll never see it again.
hmm.. perhaps i shld be a lit student. good idea dun u think? haha.
sigh. life always urns out to be like that. and i miss the old times so badly.
been 3 mths already...

hi. life's been very monotonous.
and i don't feel like blogging. cos, coming to think of it, i guess its just a waste of time. erm... what happened yesterday? oh yeah. spent a good deal of time at the library. the new bugis library. its such a pleasure to be with all those novels again. those page turners have sort of shaped my life as i grew up, being obsessed over nothing but books. i borrowed 3.
Guilt by Hilary Norman.
Death In a Strange Country by Donna Leon.
Day After Day by Carlo Lucarelli.
and my brother borrowed zero.
i met shereen! it was quite surprising. and we all miss her lots. :(
then went to coffee bean. and the guy at the counter almost forgot to return my mum her credit card. which got her abit upset.
then went to check my specs. my eyesight didnt improve, but neither did it get worse. so its good news to me. and i got my new frame. cos my old one's really dirty and worn out. with all the paint coming off. i like my new frame cos er, it nice?
haha. its coloured frame. reddish-brown.
hmm.. now i'm alone at home. with my brother. and my mum will be back at 6 plus to take us out for dinner. hopefully we'll be back in time for apprentice :)
thats all. erm... bye.

hello there. tonight. its one of those nights again. nothing much to do. and msn is so boring. no one's online yet. well, not many people. and not the ones i usually talk to.
its like that. just so very depressing. roaming around other people's blogs. just nothing to do. finding music scores. esp bumblebee. and listening to class 95.
makes me wanna drift off to paradise.
i miss australia so very much. i dunno why. the past few days been thinking alot abt aust. brisbane. and the gold coast. where the days were fun and the nights were refreshing. later probably gonna watch dvd -insomnia.
havent been able to catch up with my friends very much. ever since the exams were over. cos we were all so busy with our other upcoming events and trainings.
trivia -fencing. me -piano. i only got to talk to lavina really long during the camp.
me and my pathetic social life. what a pathetic excuse of a human.
i should evolve into an animal. at least i would have some company with other fellow animals of my species. whether its going around digging junk in people's backyard, or stealing food from the kitchen table, even watching the human's life go by with a cuppa...
well, at least i'll have some company.
i'm so lonely. no one out there to keep me company.
hello?? hello?? anyone...? no one wanna talk...?? man, this sucks. big time.

i watched a real creepy show just now, when i came home from ss remedial. christina's house. its quite scary and it does give you the creeps if you watch it at night. but, knowing fully well i can't watch horror shows at night without getting all freaked out, i decided to watch it over lunch. alone. in the house.
with a storm raging outside.
argh. i woke up late this morning. and was super late for ss remedial. 1 hour late. gosh. this is the latest i've ever been. luckily ms foong wasnt very angry. she just said 'good afternoon' to me when it was 9.45 in the morning... ha.
yesterday and tuesday's music camp was fun! tues we played the kompang and had pros from outside to train us. whee~! but i had to leave halfway with heman and weixing for bio lessons, 9-12. then came back and was totally out of place.
haha. but thanks to lavina i got back on track with everyone else.
played the kompang until fingers were bloodily swollen. man they really hurt alot that day. but it was real fun! try it yourself =)
then had gamelan sessions on wednesday. lavina and i paired up to take the gongs. i must say, we did a pretty good job on that. we didnt miss any beats and we had lots of fun.
stepped out from school into the sadistic beating of heat from the sun.
big thanks to lavina's mum for sending me home =)
woah. the thunder just cracked outside. and the flashing lightning is no child's play.
nth much to do later. promised i would do some homework and i will.
you have my word on that. maybe gonna watch Ed too. ooh. apprentice last night was nice. toral's out. well, she deserved it for not stepping up to take any responsibilities.
i have learnt so much so far. metamorphosis. from mangrove to metropolis.

umm.. here's a little vow.
i would like to achieve the following by the end of this june hols.
1. finish all my holiday assignments.
2. be more intellectual (by studying)
3. get all nonsensical stuff off my mind.
4. be more disciplined.
5. swim till i drop.
6. be all prepared up-to-the-neck for grade 5 piano prac exams (oh man, oh shit)
7. be rid of all evil
thank you.

yes. i'm glad we connected this year. it was not as bad as i thought it would be, and i'm glad it happened. you lead me into it. and i just cooperated along.
we made it possible. well done, mate!
yes, i enjoy your tutorials. and i apologize for dozing off slightly in one of them.
sorry i burderned you with so many many endless questions and being so very inquisitive, never keeping my mouth shut and my brain on, for a moment, to think why things would work out this way. sorry i burdened you so much with all my immature and childish acts.
no matter how long, in your eyes, i'll always be that little sister you always took care of, since the beginning of time. and you'll always be my big brother, who gives me security and always protected me from all those bullies who fought with me over the swing in the playground.
i'm glad everything worked out well in the end.
although i know there are still left many many unspoken words between us, and all those awkward moments and feelings.
but one day, we'll overcome and finally break down that barrier thats preventing us both from seeing each other's true beauty =)
huge amounts of thanks for your patience, love, and understanding towards me.
for all those valuable advices in life you've given me. thanks lots =)
i know now, i am not in the position to repay you for your kindness.
but, rest assured, i'll definitely pay back your loving kindness one day =)
i promise.
i'll turn my dreams into reality, like you always taught me to.
i'm deeply inspired by you. your unconditional brotherly love towards me has deeply touched my heart.
there are so many many things i would like to thank you for, but its all too long to list here.
all the best as you continue overcoming all the obstacles that come your way.
rmb our pact. $300 on sushi in Dec!! ^^ rmb that x) and our $500 abalone.
i'll wait till you earn enough money to treat me to that!!! xP